The One Thing That Will Never leave Me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJpKQkzrJTo Music. Okay for some reason the embedding thing has stopped working, rage. Loves xoxo

Happiness.

I would be shamelessly lying if I said that I'm barely ever happy, because if you know me, you'll know that I am quite happy most of the time. But like any other person things bug me as well. And it's weird because I feel like Human beings frequently want or feel like they need to blame someone for anything that makes them upset. Whether that's themselves, a friend or acquaintance, a lover, their parents or even a random stranger depending on circumstance. And I've discovered a new thing to blame. Chance. Or luck, or karma, or the cosmic higher power. However you refer to it, I simply mean that thing that defines whether or not that car splashes you walking to school, or if you get caught singing really loudly in public. (or is that just me?) For want of a phrase I enjoy the concept and sentiment of as much: Shit happens. And it's how well it's dealt with that matters. thoughtful compassion xoxo

I Want

To live in a dream, and dream in melody. Sing in harmony With a false voice Cross hatch things together only to find that ink is permanent. And think to find solutions, to problems thought only makes. Things can still be hard even when vital.

Life Goes On.

New start, I hope. And all I know is that. Nothing. I was right, as much as I didn't want to be. I wished I had seen your reaction for myself. Did I seriously manage to waste so much time. How could I have been so stupid?

I guess that makes it worse, I am the only one to blame for all this. And I miss the people crowding round me. They were real.



http://www.youtube.com/user/SeparatedByFew?feature=g-user-u



Just. This.

This Feels Perfect Today.

I love you all xoxo

Get Out.

It's mine, I never said you were allowed to infect it with your lies. So now there is nothing else to hide behind, and nowhere to escape to. This wall, it only gets thicker with time. But it's closing in. Smaller, smaller. I try to run, but I only get as far as another nightmare.
Even my happiness feels like a dove waiting to escape.

Oh Hai There.

LOL comicfire7 reference. So, that went annoyingly fast as normal *realises how much I use the word so.*

I love transformers. *watches haters explode*

AND. newest recent obsession, is this girl. I think I would happily be her.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL52QytDIiY&feature=g-vrec&context=G2cf5865RVAAAAAAAAAA

Anarchy and Insanity coz it's fun. xoxo

Do I have to?

FINE.

HERE. have some fairly shit music.



BI!

Well I Guess I Have The Thing

So I may as well use it. God don't you hate when your head hurts so much it stops you managing to do anything productive. Well that or something to that affect has been my life at least 50% of this whole holiday.

Which kinda leads me on to the next thing I wanted to vent about, but now I've left it a few hours I'm hoping it'll be less of a vent and more of a mature discussion *implies I'm ever mature* Now the 'only way is essex' will somewhat ruin this whole concept but I don't care.
Being jealous is not simply said to be bad because it makes you ; undesirable, appear deluded, maybe insane and just overall affect other peoples view of you...This should technically be something that you don't even worry about. It is awful because of the things it will do to your mind. No one elses. So, next time your wanting to kill someone and maybe blame them for your problems. Look to yourself and give yourself the credit of knowing that whoever this person is should not be allowed to affect you. And yes I'm afraid I will have to be incredibly cliche and quote the phenomenal person that said this. ''No one can make you feel inferior without your consent''

If someone is upsetting you. That's their problem not yours. And chances are the person you think they are is not who they feel like all the time. It could easily be the person who they like to pretend to be when they do go out to escape from it all for just a while.

There are stars in the darkness,
lightning in the clouds
and a hidden burn behind the sun.
Nothing is ever what you think it is.

You heard that here first.

Anarchy and Insanity xoxo

LoveThis.

Anarchy and Insanity xoxo

Powerful Image

Honestly I don't think I've ever been more scared...Imagine my gorgeous dog, lying down in the grass refusing to move, with a back foot that keeps twitching. The poor girl's not well....

:(

Gigs and Shit.

while texting a friend today the 'Uni' concept hit me like a crew ship. And honestly I'm terrified. Although What did help was them saying ''Tis fine. Do what do and act nothing like yourself, act confident. It helps'' If you understand how this next part is even relavent then one of my eyes may actually implode. They said ''aha. Life's a bitch''

Yeah again this is just me venting but..OMG SO MUCH FUCKING IRONY IT'S ACTUALLY NOT EVEN FUNNY. yeaahhh...

Back to my title. Went to see the Free Radicals again. Saw Jen. Saw Hayley (nye). Just enjoyed a genuine catch up today, and some rum and coke. Life is good. For now anyway.

Anarchy and Insanity xoxo
___________________________________________________________________________________


Say she is because you know you are.
Whoever thought everything could be so fluid...
So words have become defective eh?
Happy despite...not because.
missing something, or everything

That may not even be visible to me yet.

Conveying How Awesome Today Was

Might be problematic due to how tired I am, and I wanted this post to be at least partially eloquent. But no, I'm sorry you'll have to settle for more how I talk. Similar levels of smooth to some sandpaper, or I don't know a varnished Porqupine perhaps...

Firstly. Thorpe Park. Was. Actually way more brilliant than normal. And The Swarm impressed me as it was (for this decade anyway) the closest a human can get to actually flying without a plane, or well gliding lessons. As well as that the creative designer must have gone to TOWN on that bitch. It looks something like what you might find in a cross between Men in Black and iron man. A bad ass metal creature destined to kill us all.I give it a bloody brilliant out of ten. I'm also appreciative of how proud of this Thorpe park are...http://www.thorpepark.com/rides/the-swarm.aspx

and yeah. Kaytei! vio la.



Anarchy and Insanity xoxo

If You're Getting Bored

I'm not apologizing. Deal.
OMG THORPE PARK TOMORROW, FUCK YES!!!!

Ahem, yeah should be good, and so the Drama resurfaces, I had tried to avoid it but my family life as a rule kind of lives off it. Let's got from the top shall we? My dad got in from work as he usually does, parked his Motorbike round the back, and as he came in he was bizarely silent, this had me worried for a bit. Turns out he had taken a rather charming chunk of skin (that he clearly didn't need anymore) out of his arm, and hand, and it just overall looked quite messy. But it was, as I was disappointed that he didn't say, only a 'mere flesh wound'. Simply made worse by the drugs he is now on for his heart attack. Blood that doesn't clot properly is really fucking convenient. He had asked mum to help him put a dressing on it, and she had (by the sounds of things) been maybe not doing it exactly how he would have liked (you know you lol'd). So he asked me to put it on, (or something to that effect maybe closer to ''FFS GO AND GET SUMMER'')

So with some patience and some saftey pins, I dressed it according to him fairly well. That's a thing.

Anarchy and Insanity xoxo