So maybe I'll never

actually manage to think up anything knew, but hey I'm only 17 give me a break. Some might say that life is about the pursuit of happiness right? whatever that means for the individual, but for some reason people who you might think 'have it all together' or 'have everything they want and are just being selfish' have their own emotional issues as well. There may well be some perfectly composed 15-17 year olds in existence I'm sure, hell you might want to point me in the direction of one...but how well do you really know them?

This idea that people have: 'When I get *insert desired thing here* I will be happy' sort of attitude seems almost toxic to me. Because you are the only one who knows how to be happy in your own right. Yes of course. You can tell your friends, parents, boyfriends or girlfriends how to as well. But people come and go, the only person you can really always count on, is you. But this fact should not make you feel as though you are devoid of something everyone else has. Because in face what you have is your own happiness in your hands.

If something makes you happy and it's not endangering anything or anyone around you. It's worth more than you were told it is as a child.



Please don't neuralise me. xoxo

Titles Are Stupid

Today actually seemed to go on forever, and not in a bad way either, I actually appreciated it because today. Was a bloody good day. I mean what better way to start your day then being in a flash mob. In Guildford high street my only main issue with how this went was how ridiculously unsubtle we all looked trying to behave like we of course were not about to Bollywood dancing....

Secondly I went into godalming to meet Hannah and a bunch of her friends for her birthday do. There was food, jokes about weed and way to much sun, so needless to say I of course only managed to burn one arm. Overall another freaking awesome segment of my day.

And last but not quite least, went round Julie's to hang out with Dan (babysit, but he's 15 now and youngest wasn't there) made him watch snatch. Twas good.

Controlled poisoning and UV radiation to all xoxo

After

reading through my dashboard, I now feel slightly anticlimactic. Everyone around me seems to be mostly happy, I mean, yes I know. Everyone does have there shitty days as well, but mine recently just seem to not ever stop. Even now I have some good healthy UV radiation *toothpaste ad smile* and some freaking awesome purple hair. I feel as though my subconscious mind wants something but because of the name my conscious mind cannot work out what said thing or even realisation it is.
I'm just kind of...completely fucking unable to actually compose my own thoughts right now.

I miss superficial happiness.

You May Have Already Heard This Rant Off Me.

But I really don't give two signets. I really just object with the way in which the transition from kid to adult is handled; As in, hormones you know those things that are frequently the culprit for your (if you get them)seemingly unexplainable and illogical borderline Bi-polar mood swings. Because if you're anything like me, it can get as bad some really quite dark and oddly themed poetry/lyrics being created, and oh I don't know, perhaps if your really creative...going for a walk at 2.30 am because your ability to think, way to fucking much is inhibiting your ability to sleep. OR as good as actually wondering why the hell your so happy, which is a massive bitchslap in itself because your to conscious of it to just appreciate the fact that you are happy.

Needless to say. WHAT IN ALL OF THE HOLY CRAP IS THIS INSANITY?!??!?!

I simply think that growing up is enough to try and cope with without your mind playing silly buggers.
That is all folks.

Anarchy and Insanity xoxo

I have decided.

Music will always be my true love. Anyone/thing else that fancies being a part of my life is more than welcome to be, but for now I'm not gonna go looking for anything particularly profound. Because, well that means growing up. FUCK THAT SHIT.



Shit but beautiful music right there.

Anarchy and Insanity xoxo

It's Come To That Time Of The Day

Where I will avoid, avoiding doing things. MAKE SENSE OF THAT YOU MOFO. On the list of things that are awesome, In first place we have going round Evans on Friday, and seeing her off at her prom, with Phil. Not to mention getting to do Evans make up. Major win.

In second place is the fact that life is constant, and to stick to my promise I'll leave that there.

Now I don't know quite what this is, but I had to warn the world.



Anarchy and Insanity xoxo

To Everyone.

This is how I should have felt from the start.

''Defining myself on the edge of who I was''



Anarchy and Insanity xoxo

Enjoy The Little Pretty Things.

Because you'll always get those. And they make the annoyance of everyday life so much more bearable. An hour or two free from upset or stress is so good for your mind, some time to concentrate on not thinking about anything. And feel the sun while it is still there in all it's warmth and glory.

In amongst the poisonous creatures and atmospheres, there will be something Bright, pure and sparkling with the dew of your hopes and dreams.

Stone Sour

Nuff said, Audio secrecy really impressed me, And made me realise how different my love for listening to, and recreating music is. While they're both things that I'm fairly sure would and have affected my psychological development, very much for the better,They both did it differently (lol). And just how different the two things are all together. Recreating it is incredibly conscious absorbing which I will assume is the appeal, all everyone is looking for is an escape from the dull stress and drama of everyday life right?

And talking over all of your thought processes with a note/chord sequence is (at least for me) an incredibly effective way of doing so.

Til next time Kids xoxo

Lets try something shall we? How about not conforming to what everyone thinks I would blog about during this month. At all. Can't say it will work but I'll give it a shot.

Day one. Bizar happenings...

So normal day I guess, but there's always at least one moment like this a week, todays instance was as mentioned on facebook, just a load of all of my textiles work, falling down of where I piled it up, completely of it's own accord, I never even moved.

DUN DUNDUN.

Anarchy and insanity xoxo