But is it worth it any more? not that I ever had any control over it in the first place... But constantly falling apart over what I knew in my own mind was nothing much at all. Is exhausting on most levels. I am gradually restoring myself to the version I missed. Fully upgraded with a spine and everything. I cannot say it will never happen again, but I hope that the frequency will get lower and I will just overall not be as volatile. It is mild torture having a an aspect of your personality that is false, especially when it one that makes you feel so useless.
It can't be fixed
only dealt with
I have to laugh on my own two feet
Realize that it will never change
only lead me in a trap of delicious lies
You, So conflicted,so unsure of yourself underneath it all and terrified purely of what lies within your heart, you need not be. Let me in. Because I let you in, and you will never appreciate how hard that was, simply because you will never know.
