Shit may happen, but life happens more.

I don't think I realised just how much I cared about you until this week happened. You may have betrayed me, but even at that point. Your heart was in the right place even if your mind wasn't. You even said to me that it was the most difficult thing you have ever done and that I can only be glad about. Because catching you do it left a gash quite deep. You said it hurt you to watch me walk away from you, which I am also glad about. This will take a while... But then you helped me, you helped me by making me feel like you needed me, like I was your last hope and as upset and angry as I was that meant a lot, I know you hate feeling weak, but I am weak so much of the time that it had to be my turn to be there for you this time. Feeling needed is the one thing that will always make me feel complete as fucked as that is. And while you also had me scared you would do something really stupid it was lovely to realise that you are in fact human. And the reason I am still here and haven't as you put it ''killed you'' yet, is that I am giving you what I would expect of off you, which is acceptance. No matter what state I am in. And remember that you will have that from me always. And never feel like you should hold back with things like that around me. Obviously I will never force anything from you. But I will never expect you to be strong all the time. Only to be there as much as you can. You said that you don't like showing that side of yourself to people because you need to be stronger than that to survive in this world, which is a profoundly valid point. But the one person who should be the exception to that is me. I will never think less of you for it.

Fresh Starts.

So the solution I last referred to happened. Happened to me in the manner of slow ferry, a gradual developed manner with a huge and unmistakable out come. Which is was and I hope always will be amazing.
I am aware that it has been a while for this but then I am not to sure anyone even uses this site anymore for it's primary purpose. But main reasoning for not being on here as much I may have previously been where purely that my mind at one point or another couldn't handle trying to put its thought processes into strings of words otherwise known as sentences. But it is safe to say that words never left me, they may have head their moments of absence. But I don't think they ever truly where, like a death angel guardian watching over me, and simply not allowing me to convey any ideas or suggestions that could later be misinterpreted as any kind of plea for forgiveness, because I can guarantee that I still do not really care that much. You will never know of your potential and that saddens me slightly. You seem to be quite content in your little world of hatred and grudges. And I really hope that you discover more.

As a newly established 18 year old young woman. I wish anyone who actually reads this the best happiness and fortune they deserve in their life.

Anarchy and Insanity xoxo

Don't you hate it when you have a problem, which you could easily guess a fairly good solution for. But being either way to guarded or proud is stopping you from possibly pursuing said solution.

Bloody brilliant...

So, I got stoned last night. legit, was with Luke and Hannah for it, and it was an interesting first experience. We also watched a movie called the inkeepers. Quite a shit story line but some good moments. Then after we got high Luke thought studio gibley would be a good idea. It was.

Also, stuff happening spur of the moment is so much more epic, like when I left my house I really did not think, that I'd end up doing what I did. So awesome.
Oh and if i get some kind of crap for putting this on the internet, I blame having no phone.

Love you all xoxo

Bloody Good Times.

Happen quite a lot and I should really learn to appreciate them more.
After heading down to the train station, meeting Lauren for tickets, going up to London, suffocating on a tube and then getting to the venue with an hour before doors opened. We just sat and chilled for a bit, or at least that was until quite possibly the drunkest man you have ever encountered came, and not sat, but fell on the floor dangerously close to me and continued to speak somewhere between English, jibberish and complete bullshit. This was fairly terrifying.

The gig itself was something to behold with my main highlights being that as soon as I don't mind started. Everyone stood completely still and I think the whole room must have known the words. (As well as rather brilliantly the rest of the members weren't needed so they just had a beer). Other than that I have nothing else to say on the music. Except is there such a thing as being to perfect? The crowd was mental, people were climbing on the stage, purely to crowd dive straight back of it again. And anyone in the front was used as a climbing frame and crushed frequent times.

O&O

Hello.

I would just like to ask you, WHAT IN ALL OF THE PREGNANT UNICORNS DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? AND WHO IN THE CUT OPEN BORDER TERRIER DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

all you had to do was let me think that you were a prick...it was that easy. But no, you had to turn around and do something completely pointless, odd and just downright fucking thoughtful. FOR NO FUCKING REASON.

JUST WHAT, WHAT, WHY IN THE- I DON'T EVEN- JUST OH MY BIG FUCKING BANG THEORY.

it's funny because you're so socially awkward.

Anyways. Moving on. My life other than all seen above has actually been pretty fucking good, and I should probably stop being so childish.

Happy first of the month xoxo

It just occured to me that whenever I feel like writing some angsty vague weird confusing or otherwise pointless crap on here, that all I ever do is question life or say things that most already know. Does this ave any point to it? I'm going to go with probably not as my answer.

But one thing that seems to always bug me is that no matter how good someone's life may seem from the outside. Most still manage to convince themselves they have problems, or actually have problems. Bad ones at that. Some may fix this by trying to achieve their desires by heartlessly trying control others. Others by attempting to gain large amounts of wealth, and some by hanging on to hate and grudges against people.

And one more thing, Heindseit is a massive bitch.

Good night xoxo